Bankotsu's Babysitting Service
by Aoshi'sgirlinstraightjacket
Summary: On Naraku's orders, Bankotsu kidnaps Rin to lure in Sesshoumaru. What Bankotsu doesn't know is that Rin isn't afraid of him and is prone to teasing. He better get used to the name Bonbon. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Hey. So this is a new story. It'll probably be a short one. I know, I know. You're all thinking "Thank God!!". But I promise it'll be worth your while.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Initially, I was scared. For one, I had been kidnaped. Two, I was in a damp, dark cave with nothing but the glint of my captors sword to give me light. But then it got kind of fun. I soon learned that he had orders not to kill me. That is until Sesshoumaru came to rescue me. Then he was supposed to kill me but I didn't see that happening. So until Sesshoumaru came and things became dire, I decided to tease him a little.

Rin was running her lithe fingers through her long dark hair. It had become soft and silky throughout the years. Not like the horse hair she used to have. She gripped her stomach as it growled in irritation. She had ignored it all day but know it was becoming quite a hassle. She looked up where a man stood at the entrance of the cave.

"Hey Bon-bon." The man's back stiffened at the name and his braid whipped around in his fury. When he turned to look at her she could see the anger burning in his eyes.

"Shut up brat! I'm tired of you." Rin pouted at the insult.

" But I haven't said anything all day." Rin said in her most innocent voice. This got Sesshoumaru every time. It didn't seem to work on Bankotsu. Maybe that's because Sesshoumaru was her mate and Mr. Living Dead over there wasn't. She fingered the bite mark on her collar bone curiously.

"That's bull." Bankotsu bit back. "You've annoyed me all day with your antics. I'm not going to take anymore." He turned to once again face the opening of the cave. Behind him he heard Rin sniff. He closed his eyes and tried to tune her out.

"She's not crying. She's not crying." he mumbled to himself. He was trying not to give in but her soft voice soon floated over to him and made him crumble.

"I'm only hungry. I haven't eaten all day. I need to be nurtured. I wouldn't expect you to understand. You don't need food and you never needed to take care of anyone." If he had turned around he would have seen that her face was normal yet all he heard was her voice; pleading to him for mercy. He turned around and quickly her face was one of pure agony and suffering. Her bottom lip quivered in a way that he couldn't resist. His shoulders shrunk in defeat.

"Fine. I'll go get you some food. But if I come back and find that you're gone then I will kill you." Rin nodded with her head still hung. He took a final look at her. Her bangs were hanging over her face so that a shadow dispersed over her features. He turned around and walked from the entrance of the cave. When Rin could no longer hear his foot steps she looked up with curiosity. Bankotsu had taken Banryu with him so there was no longer anything interesting in the cave. She knew that Sesshoumaru was going to save her but she wished that he'd hurry up. It was getting boring.

The silver haired demon pulled on Ah-Uns reins so that he could sniff out the area. The blasted human pot had certainly come this way. He could taste Rin's scent in the breeze. How he wished she were by his side right now. He got a stronger lead in the wind that blew in his face. It was closer somehow. When ever he found that brute he'd rip him to pieces. With that final thought he urged Au-Un to plunge toward the earth.

Rin turned around to see that Bankotsu was back and with an armful of berries and fruits. She gasped with pleasure at the sight of the colorful food and rushed over to him. He cocked an eyebrow as she freely touched him to get to her nourishment. She went back to sit down but he stopped her by clearing his throat.

"I've something to ask you." She didn't seem to think anything of it and nodded for him to continue.

"Shoot." she replied.

"Well, why is it that you're not afraid of me?" he said while swinging his sword for emphasis. Rin seemed to ponder this for a while.

"I guess it's because I don't feel threatened when I'm around you. You seem like an ordinary good friend to me." She paused as if to add another sentimental reason. "Or maybe it's because you're just not scary anymore. You're getting old Bon-bon. Sort of." She said with a smirk. Bankotsu's eye twitched.

"You insolent little...when Sesshoumaru gets here and I kill him, which I will, you're next. Do you hear me brat?!" Rin fumed at the man.

"Let's get this straight. I am not a brat. I might have used to be but not anymore. I am a woman. And I'm mated at that so I'm an experienced woman. You can't even claim to be that." she yelled at the startled man. Bankotsu then rolled his eyes.

"To be a woman. No can't ever say I have." he laid down and propped his head on his hand. Rin put her hands on her hips.

"No, I meant you can't claim to be experienced." There goes his eye twitching again. He started to push himself up off the ground but stopped when Rin turned around and sighed.

"Sesshoumaru, please hurry. Bankotsu is boring." She pleaded to absolutely no one. Bankotsu growled from his position.

"Yes, Sesshoumaru please." Rin whirled around and gasped at his statement.

"I knew it!" Bankotsu's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

"I knew Jakotsu couldn't have been the only gay one." She said while placing her fist in her palm. Bankotsu slammed his hand to his forehead.

"I didn't know I deserved this." Rin kept rambling on about the odd quirks of him and his brothers while he just kept on hitting himself hoping he would get brain damage and not be able to understand her. Anything was better than this.

This is the first chapter. Well, duh. You knew that. There will be a few more to come but not many more. Two or three at the most. So keep reading and reviewing!!


	2. Chapter 2

Alright. This is the second chapter. I'm updating everything today. Or all that I have time to do. You must understand that I get all my funny stuff from the stories my friends and I make up when we hang out. (Yes, we are big geeks) Since we are on break, I don't have much stuff but I'll try my hardest to melt your brain with funny sht.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

"Naraku never said anything about this." Bankotsu said seethingly. He could now say that he absolutely hated Naraku and whatever plan he had here. Was he trying to lure Sesshoumaru in or was he trying to torture him? Either way, it wasn't worth this.

Bankotsu glanced down at the flower necklace that adorned his neck. It had matching bracelets, rings, and crowns. Lots of matching bracelets, rings, and crowns. He stopped the hand that was applying homemade eyeshadow to his lids. He glared at the mushed up purple flowers with disdain. It was too light for his skin.

"I think that's enough for today." He had gotten scared of the girl. Before he would have broken her dainty wrist with a twitch of his fingers. Now he wasn't too sure he wanted to see her reaction. She was, after all, Sesshoumaru's mate. He, more than likely, had taught her how to defend herself. It was obvious that she had devised her own typed of torture.

"There is never enough beauty. Especially for you." She said while jerking her wrist away. Bankotsu's eye twitched. Was she calling him ugly? There were plenty of gorgeous women who would love to marry him. Okay not marry. He was a mean mother freaker. Maybe a one night stand was all they wanted. But still, ugly?!

"Now Sesshoumaru...he's a sight to behold." Rin said with a sigh. Bankotsu's eyes widened. The last thing he wanted to hear was someone else's wild nights. He got enough of that from Jakotsu. And about Sesshoumaru?! That was disgusting.

"He is such a beast." Bankotsu gagged.

"Alright. That's enough of that." Rin looked startled from her reverie. She tugged a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Oh that's right. You don't know about those kind of things." Rin giggled behind her hand. That was the third time that she had insulted him about his love life. He whipped around to face her.

"Look here little girl. I'm a bad man. Women love bad men. I've had more experience than you'll ever get. And I'm still going so good luck trying to catch up!" Rin cocked an eyebrow and smirked.

"Catch up to what? You're old butt? If you were actually alive right now you'd be wrinkled and bent. No one would want you. I don't see why anyone wants you now. You're not alive." She paused. "I keep on forgetting though. You and you're brothers have something going. That explains everything." Bankotsu visibly steamed from the ears and his face turned red.

"Look. I get plenty of women, whether I'm dead or alive. And Jakotsu is the only one who's GAY!!" he said while pointing a finger at her.

"Who's gay?" someone said from the entrance of the cave. Both Bankotsu and Rin turned to see Renkotsu in the opening.

"Re-re!" Rin exclaimed.

"Re-re?" Renkotsu asked. That kind of caught him off guard. The woman that stood in front of him also caught him off guard. Last time, Rin had been a little girl. But then he died again and now she's a full blown woman.

"I have necklaces for you to Re-re!! They should fit around your big head so no need to undo them." A vein pulsed out of Renkotsu's head.

A full blown _**annoying **_woman. He started to back away when she approached him with the damn things. But only slightly. Bankotsu raced over to his brother, braid whipping behind him.

"Brother! You have to help me! She's killing me." Bankotsu begged. Renkotsu seemed to think about this for a while with a tilt of his chin.

"Well, maybe if I was persuaded with more shikon shards..." Bankotsu's eyes bulged at the statement. He stepped back and crossed his arms.

"After all these years you still seek power. You still want to take it from me. I, the noblest, smartest, oldest, and most handsome of the group." He inclined his chin and shut his eyes hoping that made him more convincing. It didn't.

Renkotsu scowled at the near insults. "That's debatable." Bankotsu shot him a smirk.

"Oh, you wanna debate?" He drew Banryu with a swift motion of his arm. "Let's debate." Renkotsu hefted his bazooka up on his shoulder seemingly out of nowhere. Bankotsu shifted his stance.

"I've always wondered where you keep that thing." Bankotsu said quizzically.

"I'll tell you after you're dead." He fixed his aim and crouched for balance.

"Uh, guys?!" Rin said, successfully stopping the men. "I hate to interrupt your brawl but I'd rather not be stuck in the middle of a blood bath." Both bothers rolled their eyes.

"Right. We'll kill the whelp first and then we'll continue." Renkotsu said. Bankotsu waved his arms in the air.

"No! We can't do that. I have direct orders from Naraku not to kill her." Renkotsu put the bazooka down and leaned on it.

"You mean that bastard is still alive? Man, I hate hanyous." Bankotsu flopped down on a rock and Rekotsu sat down on one opposite him. Neither of them noticed Rin scoot over to them.

"I don't like this conversation. Let's talk about hair." she said while twirling a strand between fingers.

"Two reason why we shouldn't." Renkotsu said. He ticked the points off on his fingers.

"One, we're guys. We don't talk about hair. Two, I don't have any." He rubbed his bald head for emphasis. Rin sat there with a thoughtful expression on her face.

"That's okay!" she said with a shrug of her shoulders. "You can talk about mine." Renkotsu stared at her with pure hate.

"I hate Naraku." Bankotsu sighed. Renkotsu glared.

"I hate you! You said this was a life or death situation. Not babysitting!!"

"Calm down re-re. Down have an aneurism."

"What does re-re mean anyway?" Renkotsu growled.

"Oh, it means retarded reject. Get it? Re-re?" Rin chirped enthusiastically.

"It couldn't take Sesshoumaru this long to get here. He knows what's going on and is laughing at our suffering." Bankotsu pouted on the rock he sat on.

In actuality, Sesshoumaru didn't know exactly what was going on but he knew that Rin could handle it. Besides, they'd beg for whatever Rin was giving them after he got a hold on them.

Okay!!! This is one of the fanfics I haven't updated in a long time. It might be a while before I get the next one up too. But I might be persuaded to do it sooner if you review...a lot. Until next time, keep reading and reviewing!!


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry, it took a while.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

And then there were three. Bankotsu and Renkotsu had called for reinforcements.

Jakotsu. Or as Rin liked to call him. Jay-jay.

"Does she have a nick-name for all of us?!" Bankotsu yelled after Jakotsu had entered.

"Seriously, what goes on in that mind of hers?" Renkotsu replied. The two leaned toward each other so they could whisper without the other two hearing.

"And more importantly, what goes on in Jakotsu's mind?" They stared at the man who was now applying the purple mush that had been made for Bankotsu. Rin was tying flowers into his hair and they were happily chatting about makeup and boys.

"I knew he was a fag but I didn't know he was a sick fag." Renkotsu said wonderingly. Bankotsu growled and stomped his foot.

"We are taking our brother back. It's horrid to see his mind overtaken by a woman." he ran over to them. Bankotsu grabbed his wrist making his brother smear the eye shadow down his face.

"What are you doing?!" Jakotsu asked. "I'm not done yet." Bankotsu laughed. He was slowly losing his mind.

"Oh yes you are!" Bankotsu couldn't get him away fast enough seeing as Rin grabbed Jakotsu's other wrist.

"He's not done yet!" she screamed. Rin had grown strong over the years and jerked Jakotsu out of his brother's grasp. Bankotsu fell forward onto his face. His surprise left him stunned there until he finally rolled over.

"I've been dead too long." Renkotsu rushed over to him and helped him up. Rin had an arm over Jakotsu's shoulders. He was hugged the makeup and flowers.

"Shame on you Bonbon! Do you want your brother to be just as ugly as you are? Give him a chance." Jakotsu sat down and Rin followed.

"Now, I understand that you have a fetish for Inuyasha Jay-jay...but you can do better! He's a half breed..."

Bankotsu whipped around to face Renkotsu.

"See what I have to deal with. That is the third time she has called me ugly! I don't care any more! Kill her Renkotsu. Take revenge for my severed pride." Bankotsu stomped out of the cave and thunked down to pout on the grass. Renkotsu followed.

"I'm not _**touching**_ that." he said pointedly. Bankotsu looked up at him with teary eyes.

"Am I ugly? Tell me the truth. Do women find me attractive? Do you find me attractive." Renkotsu's eyes widened.

"Uh...I'm not answering that. Give me that shards. That'll put you out of your misery." Bankotsu shook his head and grabbed Renkotsu's hand.

"I couldn't do that. Leave you alone with that wretched girl! I'm not heartless."

"No, I'll be fine. More shards, more power. I could easily defeat her." Renkotsu's hopes flew as the dream that Bankotsu would actually give him the shards looked promising.

"Never!" And then that dream died. Horribly. "No amount of power could end the life of that demon." Renkotsu plopped down beside Bankotsu with his arms crossed.

"Damn. So close."

"So when is Lord Sesshoumaru coming?" an innocent voice asked. The brother's jumped out of their skin. The huddled beside each other, shivering from fear.

"How did she sneak up on us like that?!" Bankotsu asked, pointing a finger at her.

"I don't know." Renkotsu said. Bankotsu hide his face behind his brother and cried.

"I told you to kill it Renkotsu! I told you to kill iiiiiiit!!!" Renkotsu stepped away from his brother and looked at him scornfully. He slapped him when he continued to whine.

"Shut up. You are acting like and idiotic child. We can take care of this. We will quietly hand her over to Sesshoumaru." Bankotsu nodded.

" Then what do we do? Naraku will have our heads." Renkotsu thought for a minute and the smiled.

" We'll die before he gets to us. I'll take out your shards and then you take out mine." Bankotsu stopped quivering.

"That might wor...wait. No it wouldn't. That would just kill me. Brother, you have to think of these things." Renkotsu's eyes twitched.

"That's why you're the smart one." he said through a strained voice.

"Yes, and I have new plan!!" Bankotsu stood up and placed his hands on his hips while puffing his chest out. "We'll hand her over to Naraku. Let him deal with the twerp." Bankotsu felt so proud of himself. At least for a little while.

"You know, I'm still hear." Bankotsu jumped into Renkotsu's arms, once again quivering.

"She did it again. How does she do that?!" Rin rolled her eyes.

"I was here the whole time." Bankotsu jumped down from Renkotsu's arms with a smirk.

"Well, you won't be for long because we're sending you to Naraku." A rustle in the bushes silenced the conversation. The three turned and watched a small rat demon scramble from the bushes.

"I work for Naraku." came it's squeaky voice. "He heard of your plan to send the human woman to him and to foil your plan, has killed himself. Thank you." With that, it scrambled back into the bushes. Silence fell over the group. Bankotsu grew red in the face and Renkotsu and Rin put their hands over their ears.

"FIEND!!!!! How dare he?!" he slowly shrank into a blubbering mess that Renkotsu and Rin could only stare at.

_fin_

Hope you like it. Review!!


	4. Chapter 4

Hello everyone!! This is the last chapter.

'nough said.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

The last couple of hours had seemed like years in hell to Bankotsu. Usually he liked hell. He'd been there a couple of times and had made friends. This was a hell he didn't like. The one people warned you about.

Then Renkotsu came and things started to get better. Until the brat got worse. Bankotsu would never get rid of the nightmares.

The two brothers thought a third brother might help. They learned a lesson, though. When going for reinforcements, don't call the gay one.

Jakotsu had managed to keep the girl occupied but made a friggin' fool out of himself and shamed his brothers.

So they all thought maybe a fourth one would help...

"I can't believe you brought me here." Suikotsu stared at the woman in front of him that was smiling innocently. Bankotsu and Renkotsu were hiding behind his broad back.

"She's just a woman." Suikotsu said. Bakotsu jabbed a finger at her.

"But she's evil. She's Sesshoumaru's mate, remember." He squeaked and jerked his hand back when Rin looked at him. Her smile never wavered though. Suikotsu still didn't believe him.

"I think you're being stupid. The girl has obviously grown up into a woman and has no sense of revenge toward us." He turned to walk to the edge of the cave. As he did so, Rin's lovely smile dropped to a dangerous glare.

"That's what you think." she growled. All four of the brothers' backs went rigid.

"I say we run." Renkotsu whispered. Everyone nodded furiously and then made a break for it. Rin had other plans.

She picked up a steel comb beside her, (Where she got the steel comb...I don't know), and launched it at the cave opening. The handle of the comb jammed into the rocks and made them fall, blocking the men from leaving.

All four banged into the wall and slid to the floor. Rin walked up to them with her hands behind her back.

She bent down and looked each one of them in their quivering faces.

"I'm not done with you yet." she said in a breathy voice. Suikotsu turned to Bankotsu.

"I hate you." he said. The other two turned to the elder brother and nodded in confirmation.

"If there ever was a time to believe in Jesus...it's now. Cuz' we're gonna die." Bankotsu squealed. Rin straightened up and went back to the far wall.

"You should have thought of Jesus earlier." Rin said while picking up a dagger. "Anyone want their ears pierced?" Everyone shook their head "no".

Rin's face fell. Everyone minute her face grew darker with malice.

"Well then how about we play doctor." she put a hand to her ear. "What's that? You have VD and you need your manhood removed? I can fix that." she said while coming closer to her prey.

"That's really how you fix that?" Jakotsu asked wonderingly to his brother. Bankotsu glared at him.

"No...but do you think _**she **_cares?!" he growled. Rin brought the dagger down between the two brothers. The sharp point dug into the rock floor of the cave.

"No talking." she said with a smile. She pulled the dagger out and slapped it against her palm continuously.

"You think you don't remember how you treated me and Sesshoumaru when I was little? Well, I do. And this...is pay back." She pointed the dagger tip at Suikotsu's throat. His eyes rolled wide as he threw himself at her feet.

"I'm sorry!! They made me do it!! I'll do anything. Just don't kill me. I've already been dead twice!" he pleaded.

Renkotsu rolled his eyes.

"Squealer." the dagger whizzed by his head and planted itself in the moss.

"Alright. I won't kill you." She reached behind her back and pulled out sparkly pieces of fabric. "Put these on."

Bankotsu cocked his eyes at the shiny, purple cloth that landed on his head. Whatever it was, there wasn't very much of it.

"Oh my God! Where did you get these?" Jakotsu exclaimed excitedly. Bankotsu's eyes narrowed.

"This can't be good." Renkotsu turned to his brother.

"Bankotsu. The gay one is excited over what we have to wear... I'm scared." he said. Bankotsu only nodded.

All four of the brothers stood outside with glittery thongs on. Rin had made them clear away the rocks and then line up in a bright clearing.

"Alright. Now you are going to sing 'I'm A Little Teapot' and do the motions."

"What?! Suikotsu yelled. Rin glared at him and the earth shook below.

"Okay!" he said with a smile. He whipped his head toward Bankotsu.

"You're dead after this." he said through his teeth.

"Just do the stupid song." Renkotsu growled. Bankotsu took a breath before singing:

"I'm a little teapot, short and stout."

Everyone joined in with an agitated tone.

"Here is my handle, here is my spout."

Their motions were stiff and awkward. The didn't want to move much because of the thongs, which shone brightly in the sunlight.

"When I get all steamed up hear me shout."

They were now drawing the attention of birds and other demons. The brothers sported bright blushes across their cheeks, with the exception of Jakotsu. He was completely comfortable.

"Tip me over and pour me out."

The crowd that had gathered buzzed with laughter and cries as they gave everyone to their right a full view of their 'assets'.

"I'm scarred." Renkotsu said.

"That's the point." Rin said. "But now it's over! You can leave now. But always remember. I can find you." she said while pointing to each of them.

"Rin!" Sesshoumaru came out of the crowd.

"Lord Sesshoumaru!!"she squealed as she ran over to him. "I've had fun today."

"I would think so." he said. They soon left along with everyone else.

The four brothers of the band of seven looked at each other.

"What do we do now." Renkotsu asked. Bankotsu stretched beside him.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm going to go terrorize something. Mainly women." he said while turning to leave. They all looked away, not wanting to look at their brother like that.

"I think I'll go burn something." Renkotsu said. He also left.

"Wait! I'll go help you. In case you get hurt." Suikotsu shouted. He left Jakotsu in the clearing.

The shadows were growing longer as the sun went down. Goose bumps formed on Jakotsu's skin. A smile formed on his lips as he made a fist.

"Inuyasha...here I come." he laughed as he frolicked out of the clearing and into the dusky evening.

_End_

It's done!! YES!!!!

I'd like to thank everyone for reading this story. If you loved it, then go check out some of my other stories...or my bio. I look forward to your future reviews!!


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